Our Last Goodbye: Video Memorials & Funeral Slideshows

Death is not new. And the way we celebrate the life just passed has its roots in ancient times. But the tools now available allow us to make our last goodbye memorable and meaningful in whole new dimensions with video memorials and modern funeral slideshows.

Rage, death and a woman's grief
It's true. We probably can thank the ancient Greeks for our modern approach to funerals. It was the Greeks after all who honed the funeral oration to a thing of beauty and high art; who made words uttered at the graveside a staple of every passing.

Some of the earliest instances of "eulogy" (a Greek word right there) appear in Homer's Iliad where the death of Patroclus all but drives Achilles, his friend, mad. His rage results in the death of Trojan hero Hector, whom Homer has lamented, fittingly, by his wife:

Husband, you were too young to die and leave me widowed in my home... You, Troy's guardian, have perished, you that watched over her and kept her loyal wives and babies safe.

Andromache's thoughts turn from Troy to her own special grief:

Mine is the bitterest regret of all because you did not die in bed and stretching out your arms to me give me some tender word that I might have treasured in my tears by night and day.

Perhaps the most famous funeral oration in the ancient literature is Thucydides' report of Pericles' speech for the first dead in the Peloponnesian War. Pericles pauses at the inadequacy of words:

These men have showed themselves valiant in action and it would be enough I think for their glories to be proclaimed in action... Our belief in the courage and manliness of so many should not be hazarded on the goodness or badness of one man's speech.

Lincoln knew his Greek
Doubtless, President Lincoln read this classic passage before penning his brief but sublime Gettysburg address:

...we can not dedicate - we can not consecrate - we can not hallow this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here...

Lincoln, at the time, thought his own words weak - and believed they went largely unheard. But History, which leans more on the artifacts left behind and their current impact, judges otherwise. Certainly, the humility and pain of the President, and the sacrifice and hope of the dead, is right there in the address.

What is good and worthy
Words composed for and spoken at a funeral do have a special resonance. In them, we try to sum up the life and show its meaning for us. We attempt, through the service, to show that the deceased mattered.

We also try to use the opportunity of the funeral to teach our children about the life, and what was good and worthy about it. We try to honor family, society and religious traditions. It's a lot to ask - especially at a time when we are often weakened by grief. But the occasion demands it.

So we recognize the importance of the funeral ceremony, which has changed from ancient times and which for many folks has incorporated many of the wonderful opportunities now available for celebrating a life. Such as video technology.

Nothing else comes as close to bottling reality as the moving image. Maybe that's because a film unspools in a continuous progression - just as life does. And video has sound as well as images - putting it ahead of photographs, bare sound recordings and even biographical writing in terms of capturing personality. So when it comes to keeping our loved ones alive - even cheating death in a way - the best option is often a memorial video: Memorial Videos: Surviving Death Has Never Been Easier.



Youth, splendor, age and wisdom
A memorial video can present a life with an accuracy, an immediacy and an emotional impact never dreamed of by the Greeks. It gives us an opportunity to reflect on the life and recall the days of youth and splendor and as well as the years of age and wisdom. If we are lucky, there will be words of the deceased left behind on old tapes or letters that can be incorporated, along with images and music.

The challenge is to rise to this important occasion - to use the energy and impetus unleashed by the death to create a fitting tribute. The work can be done by the family - and there are resources available to help with that task: Funeral Slideshows and Memorial Videos: 5 DIY Options.

Things to include in memorial video and funeral slideshows
Funeral slideshows are now well accepted. But they can be so much more than a hum-drum cycle through the old family album. The freedom and options we now have can give the deceased a kind of immortality that was undreamed of even 10 years ago. You may even have the skill and patience to create a truly epic tribute to the life now passed. If you don't, there are professionals to help who have made funeral slideshows a specialty.

For example, why not consider adding voice over to the slideshow? Lots of video editing programs will allow you to narrate some brief comments - or perhaps narrate the entire arc of the life - with a simple tech store mic. Family members may prefer to record their thoughts and memories and have them played - rather than have to confront an audience for their eulogy at the funeral.

Maybe there is old home movie footage. My experience is that where there is film of the deceased, there is never enough. It is usually fleeting, or the bit in focus is oh so brief. So you may want to slow it down.

Don't forget to find out about poems and sayings for the memorial video or funeral slideshow. Consider letters and handwriting. Consider a web posting. Consider all the artifacts of the life now passed: Funeral Slideshows: 10 Unusual Things to Include.

Death is not new, but the pain it causes to those remaining is evergreen. We should take our lead from the ancients and properly honor those who have passed on. And we should take full advantage of our creative potential to make the celebration of the life worthy of our loved one and those of us they have left behind.


Jane Lehmann-Shafron co-founded Your Story Here Video Biography, a documentary production company that specializes in video biography, family history documentary as well as video memorials and funeral slideshows. Based in Orange County CA, her award-winning films have been featured in festivals in the United States and Canada. She can be contacted on 949 742-2755 or through her website.